I’m a fucking walking paradox – no, I’m not


Anybody else out there feel like this? Sometimes I think I’ve just gone insane & am really good at hiding it.

To 99% of people I’m a deadpan, take no shit, who gives a fuck, realist. But to a very very small number of people I’m a die-hard romantic, lover, deeply emotional, passionate dreamer.

To some, I’m a quiet girl, a good girl, who stays out of trouble and keeps to herself. To others, I’m the bad influence, a sassy bitch who you do not want to cross.

Most days I’m incredibly low maintenance, messy hair, no makeup, hoodie & converse. Other days I’m dressed all in black, killer heels, designer jewellery, poker straight hair.

I either don’t give a fuck or I care immensely. I’m either on top of the world or crushed underneath it. Somedays I wanna run, go somewhere new, without a plan. Somedays I find bliss in routine and familiarity.

There are few invariables when it comes to my feelings and the one constant that I’ve been most sure of has fucked off and left me. Now I don’t know myself, or trust myself. Anybody else out there going crazy lately??

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